Member-only story
Illness and the dysfunctional family
Don’t cry because it’s happening, smile because it will be over.
Dear reader, what follows is a personal account of a fractured family ( mine ) in a time of crisis, I normally write about AIs, tech and software development, but this one is mostly for my own processing (every writer gets a few I guess ), still my hope here is that others in similar situations understand that they are not alone, that this is not normal and that a lot of pain and misery can be avoided with the right attitude, and well it might even be entertaining to read.
The Crisis
It all usually starts with a phone call: Your father is at the hospital, he’s been unconscious and we don’t know what will happen.
In my case I had a slight variation as I had chosen to go no contact with my estranged father a few years ago and so I got the call almost a month after the original crisis, this was a blessing. I was also not allowed to see him by my siblings for reasons unknown at the time and only got information through an uncle.
It brings people together, but not “together”.
As with many fractured families we were all not having family relationships before and barely speaking, but we found ourselves ( 2 brothers, a half brother on the phone, an uncle ) on a dinning table at my fathers house ( still in the hospital ) now commandeered by my brother.
While we had a lot of questions, my brother had a seemingly different agenda, mainly to inform us that everything was taken care of, that he was firmly in charge of things and that our input and pressence was not required, and how dare we interrupt his hour long monologue and detailed timeline of the events staring him !
Expect family members to either be at their worst or their best,
it's almost as if a crisis brings ones true nature out and amplifies it,
no middle ground.I ended up with more questions than answers and opted not to go visit my father at the hospital for a number of reasons, mainly he was unconscious with a 50% chance of not making it, ( we voted against life support and resuscitation as per his wishes ), but most importantly I would be taking a nurse or…
